June 2008 Archives

I'm going to let the picture do the talking on this one. All I'm going to add is that Botswana has the most amazing sunsets. Especially out in the villages. They pass quickly but they're almost always brilliant like this.

I wasn’t expecting Friday to be so exhausting. I planned to pop into Tebelopele in the morning, mostly to do a few personal things on the internet, but also to say a few last goodbyes. Thandi and Good, however, surprised me with a going away party featuring Zebra-themed gifts, Tebelopele S.W.A.G., and some very touching thank you’s.

Amongst all the gift presentations, speeches, food, and hugs I had completely forgotten my arranges with Peace Corps to collect my bicycle. So I dashed home to find two very patient Peace Corps staff members (you know who you are) waiting for me. After loading the up the bike I dashed off to the bus rank to catch an afternoon bus Molepolole.

Being sick for the past month had prevented me from saying proper goodbyes to colleagues and friends in the village. But this particular trip was quite literally a last minute thing. Yet, to my surprise Beauty had my former officemates, loads of sweets, and cultural gifts waiting at arrival. Apparently, I’m very easy to surprise.

After more speeches, hugs, pictures, and thank you’s I dashed to the Molepolole Sports Complex to get in one last game of basketball, despite being physically and emotionally drained. Fortunately, things seemed just as they were a year ago at the court—same people, same worn out ball. For old time’s sake I made sure to sink a few difficult, fading jump shots and blow some very easy lay-ups.

As darkness crept in I ran outside the stadium to catch a taxi back to the main road. By the time I made it to bus stop it was already well past dark. Over the next hour or so I watched two or three packed buses zip past without stopping. Too make matters worse it seemed that 50 other people were trying to hitch rides into Gaborone at the same spot. I don’t know what was going on, but everyone seemed so tense. I realized I didn’t want to be standing there for another hour or two, so I made a mad dash to the next stopping vehicle, used a box out technique, and crammed into the back of a cover pick-up. Though it was late and I was quite exhausted I eventually made it home safely Friday night.

…

I think Friday marked a big shift for me mentally. For the first time I have a sense of completeness and closure with my Peace Corps service. I really want to thank my colleagues and friends for making me feel so welcomed and appreciated over the past three years. Today really meant a lot to me. Though I am ready to move on with my life, I think I will always feel like Molepolole and Botswana are my home. To everyone this side, I promise to come back sometime in the next few years, if only as a visitor. In the mean time, sala sentle.

Have you seen the first episode in the BBC series Planet Earth? One of the major story lines features water coming into the Okavango Delta in Botswana. I love that episode. (And if you haven't seen the entire Planet Earth series go out and watch it. Right now!)

The Delta (as we called it for short) is one of the most amazing places I've seen in my life. This picture is just from the edge of it, taken at Swamp Stop in Sepopa. We were so lucky to be able to visit a couple of times during our Peace Corps service.

In pre-service training you learn all about "community entry" - basically the process of becoming accepted among the people you live and work with. As part of our community entry strategy Brian and I made rice krispie treats and brought them over to our neighbors. They were a big hit.

On Tuesday I attended U.S. Ambassador Katherine Canavan's farewell luncheon at the residency. It was nice to get one last chance to thank her in person for supporting Peace Corps volunteers in Botswana. Ambassador Canavan, an RPCV-Zaire, backed many volunteer-led initiatives. One such example, the Zebras4Life project, would never have started without her highly engaged efforts and financial backing.

I think I can speak for all Peace Corps volunteers in Botswana by thanking Ambassador Canavan. and wishing her well in her next assignment.

I had a goodbye lunch at the Gaborone Sun with colleagues from my Monday-Tuesday-Whenever job (working half-time with the NASTAD team at the Ministry of Local Government). To all: Thank you for your support and friendship, in addition to the parting gift—a framed, artistic map of the country from Botswana Craft. I love maps! Seeing it on my wall will be a great reminder of my time here.

I really enjoyed working with MLG/NASTAD because it built of my experience with HIV/AIDS coordination in Molepolole. It was also great to help mentor and advise Peace Corps volunteers working in a similar capacity at the district level. I hope my contributions to NASTAD/MLG’s efforts measured up to at least a tiny fraction of the knowledge, insights, connections, and experience I gained over the past year.

Pic: Me, France, Donald, Mma Macha, Mma Nfila, Bruce and Janet.

Less than two weeks to go. I feel totally unprepared to leave Botswana. I think I’m still in total denial.

Lots of paperwork to fill out, medical exams to complete, materials to transfer over, and personal items to sell. Not to mention all of the people to say goodbye to. All of this on top of a mysterious illness that just won’t go away. Instead of being able enjoy my last few weeks in Botswana I’m left lying in my bed reflecting on the past three years.

I did manage to pull myself out of bed to attend Bots7’s swearing-in ceremony in Molepolole on Wednesday. I was so envious of them—to be heading off to villages far and near and beginning their own Peace Corps adventure. If Peace Corps volunteer service paid better, I would do it all over again.

A few new PCVs asked me to share tips and advice for Peace Corps service. I had two. First, what I’ve learned most is that it is a choice whether Peace Corps, or any other thing in life, will be a positive or negative experience. This isn’t to say that it will be easy and fun all the time because you can’t control what challenges and obstacles stand in your way. But you can control how to approach them and grow and change as a result. It’s up to you, not Peace Corps, not your counterpart, not anyone, whether your time in Botswana will be productive, beneficial, and enjoyable.

Second, negativity and venting are infectious, counterproductive toxins—it’s best to limit your exposure to them. Discussing and noting challenges can be a useful exercise if you are willing to seek and consider strategies and solutions. But only dwelling on what’s wrong and doesn’t work is disempowering and leads to more unproductive attitudes and behaviours.

I feel like I gave a lot of myself to Peace Corps and Botswana. But I feel that the benefits I’ve received from Peace Corps and Botswana far outweigh my contributions. At this point, however, I think I recognize that I’m exhausted and worn down from the last three years. I’m ready for a break. I’m ready for something new.

My goal is for the coming years in my life to be as stimulating, challenging, and rewarding as the last three.

My time in Salt Lake has absolutely flown by. I fly late tomorrow on the overnight flight to JFK and then make a connection to Baltimore. School starts in 10 days. Uh, hello! I feel like being in this transition place has kept me from readjusting completely. It's just hard to feel normal when you're not totally unpacked and you know that there's another big step ahead of you coming up so quickly.

I also thought that since we visited just last July-August that the transition would be easier. It didn't feel that difficult when we came and I thought it would be similar. That is totally not the case. I can see now that our heads were definitely back in Bots while we visited last year. We just weren't processing everything because we knew we'd be going back soon. But now? I live here. That is just so weird.

That being said, here are a few highlights of my time in Salt Lake:

1) The first day I drove I pulled out of the driveway onto the wrong side of the road and proceeded to make an immediate left turn onto the left side of the road. Oops. I was definitely confused. Fortunately there was no traffic and my dad was able to calmly say "We drive on the other side of the road here." I thought that since Brian & I didn't drive much in Botswana that adjusting to driving on the other side of the road here wouldn't be an issue. It took a day or two of driving to be completely comfortable.

2) I went to Kohl's by myself during my first week. Spent about 2 hours inside the store, made four trips to the fitting room and walked out with 4 items. They were having a buy one get one free sale and there were a lot of options.

3) After my Kohl's experience I am glad that I made my first grocery store trip with somebody. I don't have any words to describe it except for completely and totally overwhelmed. It's all the options! Brian and I felt lucky to have relatively "decent" grocery stores in Gabs. They are NOTHING like the ones here. I said to my mom, "I don't even remember what we used to eat!" Seriously. What did we eat before Peace Corps? What can I eat now? I can't even comprehend all the options I have. (As a side note, I really feel like the grocery stores in Utah are larger than average. It will be interesting to see in Baltimore.)

Right now I am really missing having a routine. We had such a great life in Botswana. It wasn't like we had a ton of structure or anything, but I'm really feeling lost as to what to do with my time. I'm looking forward to school starting. It will probably be structure to the extreme, but I really think that's what I need right now before I can start to feel normal again.

After the conference, Doug, James and I hit the rapids at the Source of the Nile near the town of Jinja with guides from Adrift Adventures. I’ve wanted to do some white water rafting in Africa, but the horror stories from the Zambezi (Zambia/Zimbabwe) were off-putting. Adrift and the Nile, however, have an established reputation for safety. Then again, these types of activities are often marketed as “wild, but safe” regardless of their actual injury/fatality statistics. However, feedback from colleagues who rafted a few weeks back was reassurance enough.

I think signing the non-indemnity form before doing these types of things is the most gut-wrenching part. You think, “Oh shit! What am I doing?” There’s no assurances of “wild, but safe” on the non-indemnity from—just a reminder that you can’t sue if you shatter your pelvis or dislocate your shoulder.

Once we loaded the boat, however, I forgot about clauses of non-liability and just enjoyed the ride. Our guide was a Kiwi with significant commercial experience, but had been on the Nile for only two weeks. His local inexperience showed when we missed the four meter high waterfall that we were supposed to go over and instead parked on rocks on an adjacent, narrow through way. With an assist from the camera man, we managed to free the boat and shoot the narrow spill without any problems.

Other than that, things seemed to be under control. A few flips here and a thrown paddler there—all in a days work. I ate it pretty hard though on the last rapid (see the pic of everyone’s feet). I think I was flipped off in the opposite direction of everyone else and got sucked through the rapid a couple of times before being flushed out in the middle of the fast part of river. Everyone else went under once or twice, came up, and doggy paddled to shore in calm waters. I had to wait for one of the kayakers to come pull me back from way down the river.

Pics: I’m the guy in the red t-shirt, yellow helmet, and blue shorts.

I recently presented an abstract, Kicking up Male Interest in VCT via Community-led HIV/AIDS Activities in Rural Botswana, at the HIV Implementers Meeting in Kampala, Uganda. The purpose of the conference was to exchange best practices and research from PEPFAR-supported countries in Africa and other heavily impacted regions. I attended last year’s conference in Kigali, Rwanda, but this was my first opportunity to present at such a forum.

Although the theme of the conference was Scaling-Up Through Partnerships, the main message might as well been “nothing is working in the area of HIV prevention.” Many commentators and researchers noted that HIV testing and abstinence campaigns have not yielded a decrease in HIV incidence in Africa. While these approaches are important and needed in certain respects, however, there is consensus that much more resources and attention needs to be focused on adult male circumcision, breaking up concurrent sexual relationships (e.g., “secret lovers” or “small houses), and to a lesser extent, supporting consistent condom use.

Though I don’t close my service until the end of June, presenting on Zebras4Life—Test4Life was a great way to conclude my unique, non-traditional work as a Peace Corps volunteer in Botswana. While my presentation was well received, there were some expected points of contention, mostly with the need to promote voluntary counseling and testing at all.

I still believe that VCT is important and that our approach helping. For starters, men in Botswana have a higher incidence of TB, commonly an HIV co-infection. Fewer men, proportionally to those infected, are not on treatment. Not to mention that having men test for HIV on their own terms has implications for reducing gender-based violence. Moreover, I think that having on-going, supportive counseling by trained counselors and trained peers, the future the Zebras project, can effectively support behavior change. Perhaps most significantly, however, VCT may become a gateway to male circumcision services. So it’s important for VCT to be male-friendly, which is the purpose of Zebras4Life—Test4Life.

Pic: Me presenting at the conference. I just had to wear the national team colors.

I sometimes get questions from people who read the blog and are getting ready to join Peace Corps with a spouse. They want to know what it’s like to serve as a married couple. Do you fight more? Is it harder or easier than being single? The first thing I always write back is that Peace Corps is rough on a relationship but probably not for the reasons you think. It’s also great for a relationship, but also not for the reasons you think.

One big benefit to doing Peace Corps as a couple is having another person to bounce ideas off of and just hash issues out. Having Brian around has been totally invaluable for me in this respect. In fact I can honestly say that I would not have made it through my first year without his support. At the same time this can be a source of difficulty. When one spouse struggles it puts a strain on your entire relationship. Our first year was especially rough because I was struggling with counterpart issues and for Brian there was basically no way to escape it. We lived together, worked across the parking lot from each other, ate lunch together and did everything TOGETHER. That was hard. Coming to Gabs for our third year has allowed us to be more “normal.’ I work in one direction from home and he works in the opposite direction. We’ll sometimes get together for lunch, but for the most part we don’t see each other during the day. Feeling normal really helps.

Occasionally I’ll be envious of single PCVs who get to be independent and live on their own. Then a bug will come in the room, Brian will kill it and I’m over my envy. For me, however, the big deal breaker is trying to imagine NOT sharing this whole experience with someone Peace Corps is life altering in so many ways and I just don’t know how single PCVs feel complete when there’s nobody who understands it completely. So ultimately I think Peace Corps is great for relationships because you have the person you love most sharing your life altering experience and that person will know you and love you all the more for getting through it together.

On Saturday Brian and I got news that a fellow Peace Corps Volunteer, Cathy Saltwick, was killed in a car accident. The official Peace Corps news release is available here. Automobile accidents are the second leading cause of death in Botswana. Only AIDS kills more people. The two leading causes of accidents are 1) people swerving around livestock in the road and 2) drunk driving (it's not unusual to see people openly drinking in th car. I don't think there are open container laws like there is in the US.)

While Brian and I were not super close with Cathy we knew her and like her very much. She had a very calming presence, a great laugh and got a long with everyone. She spoke at the COS lunch this year and gave her speech entirely in Setswana along with two other volunteers. Since Peace Corps returned to Bots in 2003 less than a dozen volunteers have been able to speak Setswana that well. It was a testament to her hard work to be a part of her community. What I think is especially tragic about Cathy's death is that she just finished two-years with Peace Corps and was getting ready to extend for one more. She will be missed not only by her family but by her community and friends in Botswana.

A website her memory is available at: http://cathysaltwickmemory.blogspot.com/