Going, going...

Less than two weeks to go. I feel totally unprepared to leave Botswana. I think I’m still in total denial.

Lots of paperwork to fill out, medical exams to complete, materials to transfer over, and personal items to sell. Not to mention all of the people to say goodbye to. All of this on top of a mysterious illness that just won’t go away. Instead of being able enjoy my last few weeks in Botswana I’m left lying in my bed reflecting on the past three years.

I did manage to pull myself out of bed to attend Bots7’s swearing-in ceremony in Molepolole on Wednesday. I was so envious of them—to be heading off to villages far and near and beginning their own Peace Corps adventure. If Peace Corps volunteer service paid better, I would do it all over again.

A few new PCVs asked me to share tips and advice for Peace Corps service. I had two. First, what I’ve learned most is that it is a choice whether Peace Corps, or any other thing in life, will be a positive or negative experience. This isn’t to say that it will be easy and fun all the time because you can’t control what challenges and obstacles stand in your way. But you can control how to approach them and grow and change as a result. It’s up to you, not Peace Corps, not your counterpart, not anyone, whether your time in Botswana will be productive, beneficial, and enjoyable.

Second, negativity and venting are infectious, counterproductive toxins—it’s best to limit your exposure to them. Discussing and noting challenges can be a useful exercise if you are willing to seek and consider strategies and solutions. But only dwelling on what’s wrong and doesn’t work is disempowering and leads to more unproductive attitudes and behaviours.

I feel like I gave a lot of myself to Peace Corps and Botswana. But I feel that the benefits I’ve received from Peace Corps and Botswana far outweigh my contributions. At this point, however, I think I recognize that I’m exhausted and worn down from the last three years. I’m ready for a break. I’m ready for something new.

My goal is for the coming years in my life to be as stimulating, challenging, and rewarding as the last three.