R - Relationship

I sometimes get questions from people who read the blog and are getting ready to join Peace Corps with a spouse. They want to know what it’s like to serve as a married couple. Do you fight more? Is it harder or easier than being single? The first thing I always write back is that Peace Corps is rough on a relationship but probably not for the reasons you think. It’s also great for a relationship, but also not for the reasons you think.

One big benefit to doing Peace Corps as a couple is having another person to bounce ideas off of and just hash issues out. Having Brian around has been totally invaluable for me in this respect. In fact I can honestly say that I would not have made it through my first year without his support. At the same time this can be a source of difficulty. When one spouse struggles it puts a strain on your entire relationship. Our first year was especially rough because I was struggling with counterpart issues and for Brian there was basically no way to escape it. We lived together, worked across the parking lot from each other, ate lunch together and did everything TOGETHER. That was hard. Coming to Gabs for our third year has allowed us to be more “normal.’ I work in one direction from home and he works in the opposite direction. We’ll sometimes get together for lunch, but for the most part we don’t see each other during the day. Feeling normal really helps.

Occasionally I’ll be envious of single PCVs who get to be independent and live on their own. Then a bug will come in the room, Brian will kill it and I’m over my envy. For me, however, the big deal breaker is trying to imagine NOT sharing this whole experience with someone Peace Corps is life altering in so many ways and I just don’t know how single PCVs feel complete when there’s nobody who understands it completely. So ultimately I think Peace Corps is great for relationships because you have the person you love most sharing your life altering experience and that person will know you and love you all the more for getting through it together.